Slow night, I know we have some Red Sox fans, so I have another joke I think most will like:
A major Red Sox fan marries a Scottish girl from the Highlands whose father is VERY Scottish. He comes to America, his first trip away from his isolated little town, and the son-in-law has a great treat for him in that he secures excellent front row seats on the first base line right behind the dugout to a Red Sox-Yankee game at Fenway.
The game comes and the Scot is overwhelmed by the noise, the size, the number of people, really everything about the stadium and the game is beyond his belief. The son-in-law explains to him the passion between being a Red Sox fan and their competitive hatred for the despised Yankees.
(Now the rest of the story when the father-in-law speaks do it in a very strong Scottish brogue)
The Yankees come up in the top of the first and they go down in order with very little fanfare, just three easy grounders to first and second so the runners basically just trotted down to first. The Red Sox fans went crazy and the Scot couldn't understand why so he turns and says "I can't say I see the reason for all the yelling, the ball didn't go far, the men at bat can't run that fast, and it didn't look too hard to catch the hit balls." His son-in-law replied "Just wait for the Sox to hit!"
Well, the first batter lined the ball between left and center field and streaked to first, the crowd gave a mighty roar and as one rose to their feet, exhorting the runner to go for second. The little Scot saw everybody jump up and in turn he jumped and started yelling "Run, laddie, go, go, go, go!" The runner slid into second and barely beat the tag. The crowd went wild, everyone took their seats, and the Scot turned to his son and now said "I can see now why this is such a great game; the speed of the hit ball, the speed of the runner, the way that lad in the outfield could throw that ball, this is wonderful!!" The next batter hit the first pitch on a line between the center fielder and the right fielder. The little Scot was the first out of his seat, screaming "Run ye bloody bastard, run like the dogs of hell are on your tail, fly like wind, go, go, go, go." The runner slid into 3rd base and again it was a very close play but he was safe. The crowd went crazy and it was a scene the little Scot had never seen before, he was overwhelmed, and when he finally sat down he was already a die hard Red Sox fan. His smile went from ear to ear and he was ready to cheer anything the home team did. The next batter was a very dangerous hitter so the pitcher tried to nibble on the corners but walked him on 4 pitches. The batter slowly took off his protective elbow and shin protectors, threw his bat to the dugout, and in a jaunty manner started to walk down to first. The little Scot immediately jumped up, put his hands on his hips, and in a loud voice said to his son-in-law "Why does he not run like everyone else?" The son replied "He doesn't have to cause he got 4 balls."
The little Scot's eyes widened, he threw both clenched hands into the air, and in a voice that could be heard throughout the din of the crowd he screamed "Walk with pride, laddie! Walk with pride"
