Nothing would please me more than being asked to step up to the mic on behalf of my baby boy, Leron. I've developed a serious of techniques to both deliver an impactful message and keep the audience engaged.

First, I imagine everyone is naked. This calms any nerves and also helps me to force rank any audience candidates for one on one meetings later. Then I ask the crowd to imagine me naked, which serves to get the objectification of me and my adonis-like appearance out of the way quickly. But don't think I won't be "accidentally" dropping things throughout my presentation that require me to pick them up by bending at the waist, "ass-out" to the audience. It's a tried and true crowd pleaser, meant to build rapport and break through the sexual tension that inevitably rises the moment I stride to the podium.

Additionally, I travel with a see-through podium. This allows the audience to see my hips clearly when I thrust home certain points throughout the presentation. Using sex to sell is a fine line, but I do a good job of straddling it and humping home my points.

From there it's easy. Just deliver the data in a fun and easy to digest way before the big finish, which includes plenty of jazz hands and a dance not unlike the mating ritual of a Bird of Paradise.

If anyone wants to pass along my screenname to Jay I'd be happy to put together a sizzle reel for consideration.