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Posted On: 12/13/2024 6:17:53 AM
Post# of 124221
Re: jonny_red32 #124014
UHC
The official story of the UHC CEO assassination is that, Luigi shot the CEO, went to central park, dropped off his backpack filled with monopoly money, transferred all of the incriminating evidence to a similar but different backpack, wandered around NYC at night for a laugh, changed into slightly different but similar clothes, grew a unibrow, lost a few inches in height, changed skin color, randomly decided to flirt with a secretary at a hostel revealing his face and his new slightly different facial features, drove to rural Pennsylvania for no reason, then walked around for 5 days straight with a signed confession, the murder weapon, a silencer, 12 grand in cash, and a bunch of fake IDs including the one he used at the hostel, and a manifesto which first line reads "I support the feds", until a McDonalds unpaid "volunteer" not a worker but a "volunteer" who is 85 years old with cataracts but also batman vision ID'd Luigi from across the store.
Finally after being arrested the first words out of Luigis mouth that he screamed to reporters as he was being dragged into a detention center from a squad car:
"This is clearly an abduction and an insult to the intelligence of the American people!"
The official story of the UHC CEO assassination is that, Luigi shot the CEO, went to central park, dropped off his backpack filled with monopoly money, transferred all of the incriminating evidence to a similar but different backpack, wandered around NYC at night for a laugh, changed into slightly different but similar clothes, grew a unibrow, lost a few inches in height, changed skin color, randomly decided to flirt with a secretary at a hostel revealing his face and his new slightly different facial features, drove to rural Pennsylvania for no reason, then walked around for 5 days straight with a signed confession, the murder weapon, a silencer, 12 grand in cash, and a bunch of fake IDs including the one he used at the hostel, and a manifesto which first line reads "I support the feds", until a McDonalds unpaid "volunteer" not a worker but a "volunteer" who is 85 years old with cataracts but also batman vision ID'd Luigi from across the store.
Finally after being arrested the first words out of Luigis mouth that he screamed to reporters as he was being dragged into a detention center from a squad car:
"This is clearly an abduction and an insult to the intelligence of the American people!"
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