Did you know that if you heat up a beer bottle and put your testicle on the top while it cools down, your testicle will go inside the bottle?
Do you know how to get it back out?......Anybody?........

I was convicted of committing lewd acts on fruit at the grocery store.
I got off on a peel.

For Sale: My White Privilege Card
The card is quite old and in mint condition,
Never been used.
Reason For Selling: It hasn't done anything for me!
No free college, no free food, no free housing, no free anything.
I go to work, pay taxes, for those who suck off of the government's teat.
If interested I prefer cash but I'm willing to trade for a victim card,
which seems to be more widely accepted and comes with countless benefits without even having to show the card!

A little girl asks her mom if she can walk their dog.
The mom says, "No !" she's in heat, but go ask your dad. " So
the little girl asks her dad, he rubs gasoline all over her hindquarter
to hid the scent and says, "Just one time around the block ! " The
little girl returns later without her dog, so her dad asks where's the dog ?"
The little girl responds, "Well, she ran out of gas, and a boy dog is pushing her home !"