Genie: A Liberal found a magic genie’s lamp and rubbed it. The genie said, “I will grant you one wish.” He said, “I wish I were smarter”. So the genie made him a Republican.

Light Bulb: If you give three liberals a light bulb what would happen? The first one would say its causing global warming, The second one would say its racist, The third one would say its not a light bulb unless Obama says let there be light.