(Total Views: 186)
Posted On: 04/22/2023 1:48:36 PM
Post# of 126630
I'm a Trust Fund baby. My parents trusted me to go fund myself.
I used to believe that sticks & stones could break my bones,
but words could never hurt me. Then I got smacked with a dictionary.
I tripped over my bike 5 times last week.
( it was a vicious cycle )
My friend said that I make people uncomfortable by invading their personal space.
It was a very hurtful thing to say, and it ruined their shower.
I didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday.
Today the delivery guy knocked on the door to make sure we were okay.
If you replace your morning coffee with green tea .....
You can lose up to 87% of what little joy you have left in your life
70% of the earth is covered with water and none of it is carbonated.
That is proof positive that the world is flat.
Republicans believe every day is the 4th of July
Democrats believe every day is April 15.
Ronald Regan
If you masturbate after smoking pot
Is it high-jacking or weed-whacking?
I forgot my pot in my pants pocket and put it through the dryer.
Now I have some tumbleweed.
Q - What's RED and bad for your teeth?
A - A BRICK!!
What do they call a proctologist in Jamaica?
Pokey mon
What do you call an adult toy that you have to
assemble yourself ? A buildo
If you're a soldier running through the forest,
you don't need to be concerned about running into an adult tree
.................it's the infantree that's deadly.
I started wearing adult diapers for two reasons:
#1
#2
I wonder if dogs ever do it human style.
My wife has restless leg syndrome.
I get a kick out of it.
Why do people with IBS have a hard time making decisions ?
They can't trust their gut.
Which syndrome has people barking out potty humor ?
Toilette's syndrome.
Source
SHORENUFFSTUFF @ iHub
I used to believe that sticks & stones could break my bones,
but words could never hurt me. Then I got smacked with a dictionary.
I tripped over my bike 5 times last week.
( it was a vicious cycle )
My friend said that I make people uncomfortable by invading their personal space.
It was a very hurtful thing to say, and it ruined their shower.
I didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday.
Today the delivery guy knocked on the door to make sure we were okay.
If you replace your morning coffee with green tea .....
You can lose up to 87% of what little joy you have left in your life
70% of the earth is covered with water and none of it is carbonated.
That is proof positive that the world is flat.
Republicans believe every day is the 4th of July
Democrats believe every day is April 15.
Ronald Regan
If you masturbate after smoking pot
Is it high-jacking or weed-whacking?
I forgot my pot in my pants pocket and put it through the dryer.
Now I have some tumbleweed.
Q - What's RED and bad for your teeth?
A - A BRICK!!
What do they call a proctologist in Jamaica?
Pokey mon
What do you call an adult toy that you have to
assemble yourself ? A buildo
If you're a soldier running through the forest,
you don't need to be concerned about running into an adult tree
.................it's the infantree that's deadly.
I started wearing adult diapers for two reasons:
#1
#2
I wonder if dogs ever do it human style.
My wife has restless leg syndrome.
I get a kick out of it.
Why do people with IBS have a hard time making decisions ?
They can't trust their gut.
Which syndrome has people barking out potty humor ?
Toilette's syndrome.
Source
SHORENUFFSTUFF @ iHub
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