(Total Views: 201)
Posted On: 04/14/2023 4:34:54 PM
Post# of 124244
I'm leaving my body to science...
because even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
My Retirement Plan hinges on having
at least one successful kid.
The key to success...
is probably on that keychain you lost in '98.
You can tell a lot about a person
by not keeping their secrets.
My wife started clipping coupons
to help me save money. She keeps them in the side pocket of her $800 purse.
When I go to see my drug dealer,
she makes me lay on a couch and talk to her for an hour first.
My online girlfriend loves me so much
that she's coming to visit me as soon as I put my money in her PayPal account!
A dog made of diamonds...
would be everyone's best friend.
The problem with teaching little kids to share..
is that sometimes they want some of my stuff.
He died doing what he loved, making toast in the shower.
Anytime I get something stuck in my throat,
I use beer. I call this the Heineken maneuver
In Transylvania, it's your Count that votes.
Today I learned that wolves are not ticklish.
Tomorrow I need to learn how to tie my shoes with one hand.
I've spilt stain remover on my trousers,
how do I get that out??!
My dad's hobby was collecting empty bottles,
which sounds so much better than 'alcoholic'.
I must've eaten too much salmon.
I just ran up an escalator that was going down.
Source:
SHORENUFFSTUFF at iHub
because even scientists need a good laugh now and then.
My Retirement Plan hinges on having
at least one successful kid.
The key to success...
is probably on that keychain you lost in '98.
You can tell a lot about a person
by not keeping their secrets.
My wife started clipping coupons
to help me save money. She keeps them in the side pocket of her $800 purse.
When I go to see my drug dealer,
she makes me lay on a couch and talk to her for an hour first.
My online girlfriend loves me so much
that she's coming to visit me as soon as I put my money in her PayPal account!
A dog made of diamonds...
would be everyone's best friend.
The problem with teaching little kids to share..
is that sometimes they want some of my stuff.
He died doing what he loved, making toast in the shower.
Anytime I get something stuck in my throat,
I use beer. I call this the Heineken maneuver
In Transylvania, it's your Count that votes.
Today I learned that wolves are not ticklish.
Tomorrow I need to learn how to tie my shoes with one hand.
I've spilt stain remover on my trousers,
how do I get that out??!
My dad's hobby was collecting empty bottles,
which sounds so much better than 'alcoholic'.
I must've eaten too much salmon.
I just ran up an escalator that was going down.
Source:
SHORENUFFSTUFF at iHub
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