(Total Views: 182)
Posted On: 03/24/2023 5:09:30 PM
Post# of 126822
Just got over my addiction to chocolate,
marshmallows, and nuts. To be honest, it was a rocky road.
My midget friend admitted himself to gambling addiction rehab.
Now, he's a little better.
Is an argument between two vegans still called a beef?
Which woodland creature takes your car without permission ?
Common deer
I teach English at a maximum security prison.
It's a tough job, but it has its prose and cons.
I went to a tough school. When the teacher asked
the class what comes after a sentence, this kid answered, "an appeal."
It's tough being a dairy farmer.
You make money by the skim of your teat.
A tough guy friend of mine always said,
"don't start what you can't finish." So I threw out all my puzzles.
My doctor recommended I eat more fiber.
I replied, "well tough shit !"
Two lions walking through the forest came upon a nudist camp.
Lion 1: "They're already unwrapped, lets grab a bite". Lion 2:
"No, I'd rather go to the camp down the trail where they wear clothes. I need more fiber in my diet"
The Chinese leader s name is 'XI' ...
I don't know how to say that. so I refer to him as 'eleven'.
I forgot that Russian leaders name..............
..................but it's not like I'm going to putin a good word for him anyway.
What do you call a guy who steals noodles from
the rich and gives them to the poor ? Ramen Hood
They just fired me from the graffiti removal company.
I couldn't see the writing on the wall.
Poor Italian neighborhood: The spaghetto
I saw an elderly man at the supermarket collecting the shopping carts.
He must have been pushing seventy.
I noticed a somber looking police officer at my front door.
Officer: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a bus."
Me: "I know, but she has a great personality."
What do you get if you cross a river with a school bus?
Fired
I helped an old lady off the bus yesterday.
Don't ask me how the hell she got up there.
I wasn't very close to my dad before he died...which is a good thing
................................because he was run over by a bus.
marshmallows, and nuts. To be honest, it was a rocky road.
My midget friend admitted himself to gambling addiction rehab.
Now, he's a little better.
Is an argument between two vegans still called a beef?
Which woodland creature takes your car without permission ?
Common deer
I teach English at a maximum security prison.
It's a tough job, but it has its prose and cons.
I went to a tough school. When the teacher asked
the class what comes after a sentence, this kid answered, "an appeal."
It's tough being a dairy farmer.
You make money by the skim of your teat.
A tough guy friend of mine always said,
"don't start what you can't finish." So I threw out all my puzzles.
My doctor recommended I eat more fiber.
I replied, "well tough shit !"
Two lions walking through the forest came upon a nudist camp.
Lion 1: "They're already unwrapped, lets grab a bite". Lion 2:
"No, I'd rather go to the camp down the trail where they wear clothes. I need more fiber in my diet"
The Chinese leader s name is 'XI' ...
I don't know how to say that. so I refer to him as 'eleven'.
I forgot that Russian leaders name..............
..................but it's not like I'm going to putin a good word for him anyway.
What do you call a guy who steals noodles from
the rich and gives them to the poor ? Ramen Hood
They just fired me from the graffiti removal company.
I couldn't see the writing on the wall.
Poor Italian neighborhood: The spaghetto
I saw an elderly man at the supermarket collecting the shopping carts.
He must have been pushing seventy.
I noticed a somber looking police officer at my front door.
Officer: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but it looks like your wife has been hit by a bus."
Me: "I know, but she has a great personality."
What do you get if you cross a river with a school bus?
Fired
I helped an old lady off the bus yesterday.
Don't ask me how the hell she got up there.
I wasn't very close to my dad before he died...which is a good thing
................................because he was run over by a bus.
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