I think everything is going to be a right. You're a good person but you seem mad at yourself. Choice's you made and opportunity realized affect every financial opportunity in the present and future. You know that you answered yourself in your post. Stock hits a few could buy island some second-hand cars such is life
Stock market is capitalism richer will get richer and the rest of us are looking for retirement. Nobody gets a participation trophy. You hope to get what you put in