(Total Views: 148)
Posted On: 02/25/2023 12:27:28 PM
Post# of 127130
"My wife was complaining about how I never stand up for myself. I got so pissed off, I almost said something."
They have finally discovered the origin of the word "vegan".
It is apparently an old Indian word for "bad hunter"
Went for a checkup yesterday..
According to the BMI chart, I’m too short.
Don’t rush into a relationship Be friends first.
They might have hotter friends..
You can thank me later.
Today my daughter came into the kitchen while I was cooking dinner and said:
"Someday, I'm gonna get a job and help you pay for groceries, and the house, and electricity, and EVERYTHING!"
My eyes started to tear up.
She's 34.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
..... Because they have two left feet!
What did one flea say to the other?
“Should we walk or take a dog?”
Why do dogs stop and sniff fire hydrants?
To check their pee-mail!
A guy in my town was shot yesterday while holding a starter's pistol.
They suspect the crime was race related.
I know a detective who solves crimes by sitting on the toilet.
He does it by the process of elimination.
A robot went on a crime spree in our neighborhood before its battery went dead.
The police are refusing to charge the perpetrator.
I'll never forget my Grandfather’s last words..
....to me just before he died. "Are you still holding the ladder?"
What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.
You voted for student loan forgiveness ...
and got $7.00 eggs and WW III.
Shorenuffstuff @iFib
They have finally discovered the origin of the word "vegan".
It is apparently an old Indian word for "bad hunter"
Went for a checkup yesterday..
According to the BMI chart, I’m too short.
Don’t rush into a relationship Be friends first.
They might have hotter friends..
You can thank me later.
Today my daughter came into the kitchen while I was cooking dinner and said:
"Someday, I'm gonna get a job and help you pay for groceries, and the house, and electricity, and EVERYTHING!"
My eyes started to tear up.
She's 34.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
..... Because they have two left feet!
What did one flea say to the other?
“Should we walk or take a dog?”
Why do dogs stop and sniff fire hydrants?
To check their pee-mail!
A guy in my town was shot yesterday while holding a starter's pistol.
They suspect the crime was race related.
I know a detective who solves crimes by sitting on the toilet.
He does it by the process of elimination.
A robot went on a crime spree in our neighborhood before its battery went dead.
The police are refusing to charge the perpetrator.
I'll never forget my Grandfather’s last words..
....to me just before he died. "Are you still holding the ladder?"
What do you call a hippie’s wife? Mississippi.
You voted for student loan forgiveness ...
and got $7.00 eggs and WW III.
Shorenuffstuff @iFib
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