A Russian soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath, he asked, "Please,
may I hide under your skirt, I'll explain later."

The nun agreed. A moment later two military police ran up and asked,
"Sister, have you seen a soldier?"

The nun replied, "He went that way."

After the military police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under
her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't
want to go to Ukraine." The nun said, "I understand completely." The
soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of
legs!"

The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would've seen
a great pair of balls. I don't want to go to Ukraine either."