OT Redneck Medical Terms

http://www.countryhumor.com/redneck/medical.htm

• A pubic hair is a type of wild rabbit.


• Asphalt describes rectal problems.


• A condom is a large apartment.


• Douche is the French word for "twelve.


• Genitals are people of non-Jewish descent.


• A diaphragm is a drawing in Geometry.


• Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.


• An erection is when Japanese people vote.


• A dildo is a variety of the sweet pickle.


• An umbilical chord is part of a parachute.


• Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.


• A menstrual cycle has three wheels.


• The clitoris is a type of flower.


• Testacles are found on an octopus.


• Kotex is a radio station in Cincinatti.


• Masturbate is used to catch large fish.

• Benign........What you be after you be eight.


• Artery...... The study of paintings.


• Bacteria.....Back door to cafeteria.


• Barium........What doctors do when patients die.


• Cesarean Section....A neighborhood in Rome.


• CATscan....................Searching for kitty.


• Cauterize..................Made eye contact with her.


• Colic.......................... A sheep dog.


• Coma...........................A punctuation mark.


• D & C..........................Where Washington is.


• Dilate......................... To live long.


• Enema..........................Not a  friend.


• Fester.........................Quicker than someone else.


• Fibula..........................A small lie.


• Genital.........................Non-Jewish person.


• G.I. Series..................World Series of military baseball.


• Hangnail......................What you hang your coat on.


• Impotent.....................Distinguished, well known.


• Labor Pain...................Getting hurt at work.


• Medical Staff............A Doctor's cane.


• Morbid........................A higher offer than I bid.


• Nitrates.......................Cheaper than day rates.


• Node.............................I knew it.


• Outpatient..................A person who has fainted.


• Pap Smear...................A fatherhood test.


• Pelvis............................Second cousin to Elvis.


• Post Operative...........A letter carrier.


• Recovery Room...........Place to do upholstery.


• Rectum..........................Damn near killed him.


• Secretion......................Hiding something.


• Seizure..........................Roman emperor.


• Tablet............................A small table.


• Terminal Illness...........Getting sick at the airport.


• Tumor.............................More than one.


• Urine..............................Opposite of you're out.


• Varicose.........................Near by/close by.