(Total Views: 225)
Posted On: 11/15/2021 1:14:23 PM
Post# of 126826
What's the difference between a wife
and a mistress ? The mistress says,"Oh darling!
That was wonderful ! " The wife says, "Beige.
I think will paint the ceiling beige. "
When you stand on a chair to change a lightbulb,
but still can't reach the bulb.
Mistress--The chair's too short
Wife--You're too short
How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One.
The narcissist holds the light bulb while the rest of the world revolves around him.
You know, we've had it wrong all along, with the
question of what came first, the chicken or the egg?
The answer has always been the rooster. The hens have been complaining about ever since.
Last night I had a sex dream that was so realistic,
that when I woke up all my money was gone.
Three old men sitting on a park bench…
Man #1: I wish I can sleep through the night,
I get up every 2 hours to pee.
Man #2: You think that’s bad? I’m constipated and haven’t had a bowel movement in a week.
Man #3: You think you guys have problems? I sleep throughout the night and every morning at 7:30 I empty my bladder and have a big bowel movement.
The other two men look confused…How’s that a problem? They ask.
Man #3: I don’t get up until 8:00am…
and a mistress ? The mistress says,"Oh darling!
That was wonderful ! " The wife says, "Beige.
I think will paint the ceiling beige. "
When you stand on a chair to change a lightbulb,
but still can't reach the bulb.
Mistress--The chair's too short
Wife--You're too short
How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One.
The narcissist holds the light bulb while the rest of the world revolves around him.
You know, we've had it wrong all along, with the
question of what came first, the chicken or the egg?
The answer has always been the rooster. The hens have been complaining about ever since.
Last night I had a sex dream that was so realistic,
that when I woke up all my money was gone.
Three old men sitting on a park bench…
Man #1: I wish I can sleep through the night,
I get up every 2 hours to pee.
Man #2: You think that’s bad? I’m constipated and haven’t had a bowel movement in a week.
Man #3: You think you guys have problems? I sleep throughout the night and every morning at 7:30 I empty my bladder and have a big bowel movement.
The other two men look confused…How’s that a problem? They ask.
Man #3: I don’t get up until 8:00am…
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