wanna groan?

Dad: "If I bought you a DeLorean, would you drive it much?"
Son: "Just from time to time."

I once purchased a dog from a blacksmith.
As soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door.

Why did Stalin only write in lower case?
He hated capitalism.

When does a joke become a dad joke?
When the punchline becomes apparent.

What do you call a lying frog?
An amFIBian.

I just read the ingredients list on a bag of Skittles.
It simply said, Unicorn poop.
Man, I love that shit!

I won't say that Biden is in a bad situation,
but rumor has it that he's getting sympathy cards from Jimmy Carter.

We all know about Murphy’s Law:anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
But have you heard of Cole’s Law?
It’s thinly sliced cabbage.

Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory.

What does Charles Dickens keep . . . in his spice rack?
The best of thymes, the worst of thymes.

Plateaus, are the highest form form of flattery.

What did Yoda say when he first saw himself in 4K? HDMI!