(Total Views: 208)
Posted On: 07/18/2021 11:47:29 AM
Post# of 127617
My wife said to me...
“If I ever get Alzheimer's I would commit suicide rather than burdening you with me"
I said "That's the fifth time you've said that today"
Your underwear...
“is much too tight and very revealing,” I said to my wife.
She said, “Wear your own then.”
It always irked my mother that her grocery store
didn’t carry eggs in packages of six—just by the dozen.
Then one day, her wish came true. She walked into the grocery and found fresh eggs in cartons of six!
She was so excited, she bought two.
A young kid found an old lamp. As always, the
the lamp was rubbed and a genie appeared granting 3 wishes.
Genie: I will grant you 3 wishes!
Kid: I wish math didn't exist.
Genie: DONE! You have no more wishes!
The insurance agent was having quite an easy
selling Mrs. Jorgan insurance on her husband's life. In fact he thought it was too easy.
When all the details were finalized Mrs. Jorgan casually asked, "Now if my husband should die tomorrow what would I get?"
"That would depend entirely," the insurance man replied, "on how the evidence is presented to the jury."
My pet mouse Elvis died today...
He was caught in a trap.
Doctor: "My dear sir, it's a good thing you came to me when you did."
Patient: "Why, Doc, are you broke?"
“If I ever get Alzheimer's I would commit suicide rather than burdening you with me"
I said "That's the fifth time you've said that today"
Your underwear...
“is much too tight and very revealing,” I said to my wife.
She said, “Wear your own then.”
It always irked my mother that her grocery store
didn’t carry eggs in packages of six—just by the dozen.
Then one day, her wish came true. She walked into the grocery and found fresh eggs in cartons of six!
She was so excited, she bought two.
A young kid found an old lamp. As always, the
the lamp was rubbed and a genie appeared granting 3 wishes.
Genie: I will grant you 3 wishes!
Kid: I wish math didn't exist.
Genie: DONE! You have no more wishes!
The insurance agent was having quite an easy
selling Mrs. Jorgan insurance on her husband's life. In fact he thought it was too easy.
When all the details were finalized Mrs. Jorgan casually asked, "Now if my husband should die tomorrow what would I get?"
"That would depend entirely," the insurance man replied, "on how the evidence is presented to the jury."
My pet mouse Elvis died today...
He was caught in a trap.
Doctor: "My dear sir, it's a good thing you came to me when you did."
Patient: "Why, Doc, are you broke?"
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