HELGA'S DIARY ON A CRUISE SHIP: > 

DEAR DIARY - DAY 1 
All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter - The Late Bloomers decided on this "all-girls" trip. It will be my first one - and I can't wait! 

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 2 
Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. 
Met the Captain today -- seems like a very nice man. 

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 3 
At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive. 

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 4 
Won $800.00 in the ship's casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne.He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband. 

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 5 
Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. 
Again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship...I was shocked. 

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DEAR DIARY - DAY 6 
Today I saved 2600 lives. 

Twice