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Posted On: 03/13/2021 11:44:20 AM
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Rand Paul Saddened to See Government Flagrantly Helping People
By Andy Borowitz
March 10, 2021
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Just minutes after the House of Representatives passed President Biden’s coronavirus-relief bill, an emotional Rand Paul said that he was “deeply saddened to see the government helping people.”
Despite his best efforts “to keep this dark day from happening,” Paul said that soon the government would be interfering in people’s lives by sending them money to pay their bills .
“In a matter of days, people will be eating food—just as, history tells us, people did under Communism,” he warned.
In closing, Paul castigated his Senate colleagues who voted for the bill, accusing them of “ushering in a dangerous new era of Washington politicians intrusively abetting people’s efforts to survive.”
“You have broken your most solemn oath, which is, ‘First, do no good,’ ” he said.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-repo...ing-people
By Andy Borowitz
March 10, 2021
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Just minutes after the House of Representatives passed President Biden’s coronavirus-relief bill, an emotional Rand Paul said that he was “deeply saddened to see the government helping people.”
Despite his best efforts “to keep this dark day from happening,” Paul said that soon the government would be interfering in people’s lives by sending them money to pay their bills .
“In a matter of days, people will be eating food—just as, history tells us, people did under Communism,” he warned.
In closing, Paul castigated his Senate colleagues who voted for the bill, accusing them of “ushering in a dangerous new era of Washington politicians intrusively abetting people’s efforts to survive.”
“You have broken your most solemn oath, which is, ‘First, do no good,’ ” he said.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-repo...ing-people
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