BIDEN finally breaks down and visits a remote northern Indian reservation. With news crews following him around as they tour the place, the President asks the chief if there was anything they need.

“Well," says the chief, "We have three very important needs. First, we have a medical clinic but no doctor to man it.”Biden whips out his phone, dials a number, talks to somebody for two minutes and then hangs up. "I've pulled some strings. Your doctor will arrive in a few days

Now what was the second problem?" “We have no way to get clean water. The local mining operation has poisoned the water our people have been drinking for thousands of years. We've been flying bottled water in, and it's terribly expensive." Once again, Biden dials a number, yells into the phone for a few minutes, and then hangs up. "The mine has been shut down, and the owner is being billed for setting up a purification plant for your people.

Now what was that third problem?” The chief looks at him and says, "We have no cellphone reception up here!"