This is precisely the kind of deep technical analysis I was hoping to teach you, Ken. You’ve now unlocked the door to a world of investing success. But with great power comes great responsibility. Share your gift with those who need the guidance. Be humble. Keep your monthly subscription fees under $5 for your “Ken’s Killer Stocks” report. Call your monthly e-newsletter “The Chowder” because of all the tasty investment bits you share. Perform no due diligence. Transpose the occasional letters in a ticker symbol to make your readers have to work for it. Chart everything. Lastly, don’t forget to add real, pertinent information* to the end of your forum posts so they don’t get deleted.

*This rise in share price is different from the manipulated run to $10 because this time we have a major catalyst coming up soon. The clock has started and the train is about to leave the station. Early buyers get reduced fares, currently around $5. But ticket prices will increase the closer we get to departure as the train fills up. The express train to Profitsvillestownsburg is leaving soon. ALL ABOARD!