We been out shopping too.. (This is just too funny!

New Post Public Reply Private Reply Replies (0) Message Board

Feb 12, 2013 at 4:03 PM

We been out shopping too..

(This is just too funny! This could only be true; you simply can't
make this stuff up!)

Clutching their Kohl's shopping bags, Bonnie and Kay woefully gazed
down at a dead cat in the mall parking lot.
Obviously a recent hit..no flies, no smell.. What business could that
poor kitty have had here?' murmured Bonnie..'
Come on, Bonnie, let's just go...'
But Bonnie had already grabbed her shopping bag and was explaining,
'I'll just put my things in your bag, and then I'll use this tissue...'
She dumped her purchases into Kay's bag and then used the tissue paper
to cradle and lower the former feline into her own Kohl's bag and
cover it. They continued the short trek to the car in silence,
stashing their goods in the trunk. But it occurred to both of them
that if they left Bonnie’s burial bag in the trunk, warmed by the Texas
sunshine while they ate, Kay's Lumina would soon lose that new-car
smell.

They decided to leave the bag on top of the trunk, and they headed
over to K & W Cafeteria.
They went through the serving line and sat down at a window table.
They had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Kohl's
bag still on the trunk. BUT not for long! As they ate, they noticed a
big black woman in a red gingham shirt stroll by their car.. She
looked quickly this way and that, and then took the Kohl's bag without
breaking stride. She quickly walked out of their line of vision.. Kay
and Bonnie shot each other a wide-eyed look of amazement.

It all happened so fast that neither of them could think how to
respond. 'Can you imagine?' finally sputtered Bonnie.
'The nerve of that woman!' Kay sympathized with Bonnie, but inwardly
a laugh was building as she thought about the grand surprise
awaiting the female thief.

Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into her napkin, she
noticed Bonnie eyes freeze in the direction of the
serving line. Following her gaze, Kay recognized the big black woman
in the red gingham shirt with the Kohl's bag hanging from her arm. She
was brazenly pushing her tray toward the cashier.

Helplessly they watched the scene unfold:
After leaving the register, the woman settled at a table across from
theirs, put the bag on an empty chair and began
to eat. After a few bites of baked whitefish and green beans, she
casually lifted the bag into her lap to survey her treasure.
Looking from side to side, but not far enough to notice her rapt
audience three tables over, she pulled out the tissue paper and peered
into the bag. Her eyes widened, and she began to make a sort of
gasping noise. The noise grew. The bag slid from her lap as she sank
to the floor, wheezing and clutching her upper chest. The beverage
cart attendant quickly recognized a customer in trouble and sent the
busboy to call 911, while she administered the Heimlich maneuver.
A crowd quickly gathered that did not include Bonnie and Kay, who
remained riveted to their chairs for seven whole minutes until the
ambulance arrived. In a matter of minutes, the big black woman with
the red gingham shirt emerged, still gasping, and securely strapped on
a gurney.

Two well-trained EMT volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance,
while a third scooped up her belongings. The
last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar was as she disappeared
behind the ambulance doors................the Kohl's Bag perched on
her stomach!!

God does take care of those who do bad things! AND once in a
while...He allows us to witness

Newer

Older

Scroll down for more posts ▼

Top 10 Most Recent News Articles

AST SpaceMobile Suit Seeks Lead Plaintiff by November 13

The Legal Rigmarole The market's got its knickers in a twist over AST SpaceMobile, folks. If you've been dabbling in NASDAQ:ASTS between March '25 and mid-July '26, it's time to perk up those ears. The legal eagles at Robbins Geller Rudman & Dowd LLP are rallying the troops for a class action lawsuit with you front and center. Deadline's looming on November 13, 2026, for...

Brokerage Trade Volumes Spike Amid Market Shifts

Trading Freight Train Gains Speed Trading is on the upswing, my friends. What good ol' intuition and the headlines tell us, numbers reflect: more retail investors are jumping into the fray, and the brokers are soaking it up. We're eyeing some hefty figures, like a market swell from $11.97 billion in 2025 to a projected $18.29 billion by 2030. That's an 8.9% growth...

Ruizhi Unveils Trio of High-Tech Paper Bag Machines

Cutting-Edge Unveiling at All in Print China 2026 In the bustling expo halls of the Shanghai New International Expo Centre, Ruizhi Machinery rolled out the red carpet for its latest inventions, stealing the limelight at the All in Print China 2026. Now, these were not your run-of-the-mill paper bag makers; we're talking about a set of machines that could redefine the gig...

Peptide Therapy Rules Change: Gameday Ups the Ante

Gameday Men's Health: Leading the Safe Peptide Charge Finally, we got some regulatory sanity stepping up to the plate with peptides. You see, the FDA's new interim policy is letting state-licensed compounding pharmacies work their magic with peptides, but only under strict medical watch. And Gameday Men's Health sure ain't wasting any time setting up shop in this fresh...

SeaWorld Rings in Holidays with All-New Festivities

Holiday Transformation at SeaWorld's Parks The holiday spirit isn't something you purchase—it’s an experience. And boy, SeaWorld seems to get this right. As the chill of late October settles in, SeaWorld parks across Orlando, San Diego, and San Antonio start dressing up for the holiday season, morphing into a spectacle of lights and festive joy. For anyone who’s...

xTool X1: Redefining Laser Fabrication for Makers

The Next Generation of Laser Fabrication Whenever a new gizmo hits the market, it's usually just an upgrade in disguise—faster, shinier, a touch more wattage. Not this time. xTool shook things up by rolling out the X1, a laser platform that gets what small businesses and makers truly crave: versatility and long-lasting potential. This bad boy does more than engrave; it...

Maison Martell Bridging Artistry: Davido Meets Prince Gyasi

Maison Martell Dances to a New Beat The world's oldest cognac house, Maison Martell, is mixing things up in a way that’ll make your typical whiskey-on-the-rocks seem like child’s play. They've snagged Afrobeat heavyweight Davido and renowned visual poet Prince Gyasi to spin a fresh narrative, one where melody and imagery play in harmony. While this ain't your usual...

Motiva's Q3 2026 Results: Strategic Moves Drive Growth

Strategic Transactions and Financial Highlights Motiva's third quarter of 2026 shows a company not just coasting but recalibrating its trajectory. Big moves had ripple effects on their financial landscape, most notably their sale of the Airport Platform, concluded for a hefty R$5.2 billion. Their portfolio's trimming isn't just a garage sale but a thought-out step...

Navigating Gas-to-AI Power: Challenges & Opportunities

Natural Gas Abundance Meets Conversion Hurdles It’s a wild scene when you've got oodles of natural gas but struggle to get it into AI data centers. That’s the picture today: U.S. gas production hitting a high of 137 billion cubic feet daily, while converting that gas into practical energy is the real challenge. You see, the gas market is ready to rumble, ticking...

Thunderly Bags Davey Awards for Creative Franchise Videos

Big Wins from Humble Beginnings Ever notice how some small outfits have a knack for punching above their weight? Thunderly, a Dallas-based marketing agency, is a shining example of that. They've just snagged two Silver Awards at the 22nd Annual Davey Awards—and it’s stirring up talk across the sector. Winning a Davey isn’t child's play; it’s about small teams...

Top 5 Most Recently Viewed Articles

Immunic's 2025 Achievements and Future Directions in MS Therapy

Immunic's Groundbreaking Achievements in 2025 In a significant year for Immunic, Inc. (Nasdaq: IMUX), the company achieved notable milestones in its development of oral therapies aimed at neurological and gastrointestinal disorders. The completion of enrollment for both Phase 3 ENSURE trials of vidofludimus calcium in relapsing multiple sclerosis (RMS) marks a critical...

Exploring the Ethical Landscape of AI for a Better Tomorrow

Unleashing the Potential of Artificial Intelligence Artificial Intelligence (AI) has transitioned from a concept dreamed up by pioneers like Edmund Callis Berkeley to a transformative force impacting every facet of our lives. This evolution raises vital discussions around the intersection of technology and ethics. AI and Human Empowerment AI is revolutionizing our...

PentenAmio Launches as New Cybersecurity Industry Leader

PentenAmio Launched from Merger of Leading Companies A transformative new British-Australian company specializing in sovereign cybersecurity and electronic warfare for governments has officially emerged from the successful merger of two innovative firms, Penten and Amiosec. The newly formed entity, PentenAmio, sets out to make significant advancements in secure mobile...

RadCred Innovates Emergency Loans for Bad Credit Access

Revamping the Emergency Loan Landscape RadCred is pioneering a new approach to emergency loans, especially tailored for those grappling with bad credit. As we advance into this innovative era, the company stands out with its AI-powered loan matching technology, providing unprecedented access for those usually overlooked by traditional financial systems. This...

Innovative SMART CANE Enhances Mobility and Safety for Users

Introducing the SMART CANE: A Revolutionary Mobility Aid The SMART CANE is a groundbreaking mobility aid designed to enhance stability and ensure safety for its users. An innovative inventor from Philadelphia embraced the need for a cane that not only assists with walking but also illuminates the surrounding area, providing peace of mind for individuals who rely on...