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Posted On: 07/09/2020 12:35:01 PM
Post# of 126929
Re: wowhappens28 #40997
PONDERING
BEEN PONDERING THE PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD AND I REALIZED AT MY AGE, I DON'T REALLY GIVE A RAT'S ASS ANYMORE
If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.
A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.
And they tell us to exercise? I don't think so.
NOW THAT I'M OLDER, HERE'S WHAT I'VE DISCOVERED:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
3. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
5. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
6. It was a whole lot easier to get older than it was to get wiser.
7. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.
8. I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them.
9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
11. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
12. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.
13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
14. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
15. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . . I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm 'here after'.
16. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
17. Have I sent this message to you before...or did I get it from you?
BEEN PONDERING THE PROBLEMS OF THE WORLD AND I REALIZED AT MY AGE, I DON'T REALLY GIVE A RAT'S ASS ANYMORE
If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat.
A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while a tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years.
And they tell us to exercise? I don't think so.
NOW THAT I'M OLDER, HERE'S WHAT I'VE DISCOVERED:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.
3. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
5. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it?
6. It was a whole lot easier to get older than it was to get wiser.
7. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant.
8. I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them.
9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
11. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
12. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom.
13. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
14. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
15. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . . I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm 'here after'.
16. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
17. Have I sent this message to you before...or did I get it from you?
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