A pirate walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says "Sure thing. Hey, I couldn't help but notice that you've got a pretty nasty hook for a hand there."

The pirate says "Aye, I lost it in a sword fight."

"Oh that's horrible! Well what about your peg-leg, what happened there?"

"Aye, me leg was blown off by a cannonball."

"My god, that's gruesome! I can't even imagine why you've got an eye patch."

"Aye, a passing seagull shit in me eye."

"A...seagull? You lost your eye to some bird shit?"

"Well, I forgot about the hook."