Communication one liners

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that...

Talking to a liberal
is like trying to explain social media to a 70 years old.

People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now.

The Man Who Created Autocorrect Has Died. Resturant In Piece.

I think this generation will have to go into separate rooms and text each other to work out their problems.

When someone asks me if I'm seeing anyone, I automatically assume they're talking about a psychiatrist.

You'll never have a successful relationship with a woman if you can't tell the difference between a smile and a warning.

Is your butt jealous of the chit that just came out of your mouth?

https://onelinefun.com/communication/8/