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Posted On: 03/02/2020 7:12:19 PM
Post# of 124958
Money one liners
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
What's the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.75, but deer nuts are under a buck.
Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye.
Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.
I walked past a homeless guy with a sign that read, "One day, this could be you." I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he's right.
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
I had my credit card stolen the other day but I didn't bother to report it because the thief spends less than my wife.
I am so poor I can't even pay attention.
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
Yesterday I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You can't imagine the happiness I felt as I saw him put his pistol back in his pocket.
Just took a power nap on a park bench. Made $7.30 in change.
What do a grenade and a woman have in common? You remove the ring and your whole house is gone.
What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? Money.
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
What's the difference of deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.75, but deer nuts are under a buck.
Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye.
Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money.
I walked past a homeless guy with a sign that read, "One day, this could be you." I put my money back in my pocket, just in case he's right.
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
I had my credit card stolen the other day but I didn't bother to report it because the thief spends less than my wife.
I am so poor I can't even pay attention.
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
Yesterday I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You can't imagine the happiness I felt as I saw him put his pistol back in his pocket.
Just took a power nap on a park bench. Made $7.30 in change.
What do a grenade and a woman have in common? You remove the ring and your whole house is gone.
What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? Money.
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