My doctor told me that jogging could add years..
to my life.
He was right—I feel ten years older already...

What do you call a letter from a feminist?
Hate male.

What an amazing, clever dog we have,
He brings in the newspaper every day, and we’ve never even subscribed to any!

It just dawned on me: If the Democrats had
won the White House in 2016 the illegals from Central America and Mexico would have to go to China to take American jobs.

My friend calls Newton cookies
Figs in a blanket.

Sex at my age is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Now I KNOW I'm getting old.................
…...I walked past a cemetery yesterday and two guys attacked me with shovels.

Millenials......walking around like they
rent the place.

This isn't what retirement looked like in the brochures.

Smaller babies may be delivered by stork....
but the heavier ones need a crane.

What bird delivers no babies ?
A swallow.

I think Santa has riverfront property in Brazil.
All our presents came from Amazon this year.

Source:
SHORENSTUFF at iFib