The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.

I just started dating Little Red Riding Hood's grandma.
She's an animal in bed.

Bob Dylan's singing sounds like me insisting I'm
okay to drive.

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste
time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.

What do you call a far eastern monk who
sells reincarnations? A used karma dealer.

I've found that whenever God closes a door…
Satan hands me a lock pick.

Source: SHORENUFFSTUFF at iFib