Does anyone out there know how to reset the
"Czech engine" light on my Yugo?

I have an extra gas cap for your Tesla.

When you change your muffler bearing remember...
to pack it with high temperature elbow grease.

"Oh daddy, I love you so much !"
"Hey......until we get the DNA results back, I'm just Fred to you !"

One man's trash is another man's treasure?
Wonderful saying...............horrible way to find out you were adopted.

What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler?
Just the Rottweiler.

My library job only lasted half an hour.
Turns out, women's rights books don't go in the SciFi / Fantasy section.

My wife keeps complaining that I'm too angry...
It's about to really piss me off.

My wife was complaining about how I never stand
up for myself. I got so pissed off, I damn near said something!

I just bought some litter bags...
Bad invention, they forgot the adhesive strips to attach it to the cat.