The professor told the class, once you succeed you will have fame and fortune!
The blonde asked, "Who is Seed"?

Wouldn't it be ironic if everyone went blind in the year 2020?

I know that wherever my dad is, he's looking down on me.
He's not dead, just very condescending.

Alcohol was my dad's answer to everything.
He wasn't a drunk, just really lousy at Jeopardy