I lost my wife's audio-book...
and now I'll never hear the end of it.

My crush said I'm like a brother to her...
I decided to take her on a vacation to Alabama.

Sometimes, too much to drink isn't enough.

Rehab is for quitters.

He's such an alcoholic, when pink elephants get drunk, they see him.

Why did Bob come home drunk and leave his clothes on the floor?
He was still in them.

Wine improves with age. The older you get, the more you like it.

I don't like to drink. It's just something to do while getting drunk.

Whiskey is a great drink. It makes you see double and feel single.

He doesn't drink anything stronger than pop. Pop will drink anything.