I took my new puppy for his first shots today.
The poor thing threw up everywhere. Maybe i should have started him on something weaker than Jack Daniels.

My Grandpa recently had to start using Viagra.
Grandma took it pretty hard.

A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender,
"Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?"
The bartender shakes his head and says, "No, we only have plane."

P r o c r a s t i n a t i o n t takes forever to type.