Chicken-related humor is at a crossroads.

I'm so lazy, I have a snooze button on my smoke alarm

Somebody called me pretentious the other day. I nearly choked on my latte.

I hate having to explain myself. Don't ask me why.

I do have initiative, I just need to be told when to use it.

With my luck, when my ship comes in I'll probably be at the airport.

What pet can you wear on your face to keep cool? A chinchilla.

Highlighter pens are the future. Mark my words.

Last week I went to a really awkward party in an igloo. I tried to break the ice, but that only made things worse.

Row v Wade
Personally, I'd rather be in a boat, than getting my feet wet.