Never understood why ghosts,,
choose to haunt some beat down old house,,, When I die, Im haunting a Victoria Secret modeling agency..

My wife and I split up over my constant use of horoscope puns...
in the end, it Taurus apart.

Caitlyn Jenner wants to become a super hero
but doesn’t know what group to join...
It's down to either Ex-men or a Trans-former.

I had a date tonight. It was pretty sweet.
Next, I’m gonna try a fig.

Doctor: are you active sexually?
Me: define active, cause some active volcanoes didn't explode in hundreds of years.
Doctor: I'll write virgin.

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type...
As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

Why did the blonde move to LA?
It was easy to spell.