Did you hear that researchers have discovered that diarrhea is hereditary?
It runs in your jeans.

Doctor: What's the condition of the boy who swallowed the quarter?
Nurse: No change yet.

Doctor: You only have six months to live.
Man: I can't pay the bill.
Doctor: Alright, I'll give you another six months.

What do you get if you have strep throat on Friday?
Saturday Night Fever.

Did you hear about the two podiatrists who opened their offices on the same street?
They were arch enemies.

How is a hospital gown like insurance?
You're never covered as much as you think you are.