My wife was complaining to me, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back". Me: "what do you expect, you're in a wheelchair"

There's a company called Kia and there's a company called Nokia... I don't know who to believe.

I've decided to make my own beer. I'll call it Responsibly, that way competitors will do all my advertising. Please drink Responsibly!

So wait, if I post a letter without a stamp and just put the intended address as the return address, won't it be sent there anyway?

This girl texted me, "Your adorable."
I texted back, "No YOU'RE adorable."
Now she likes me when all I was doing was pointing out her typo.