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Saudi Arabia beheads first female robot citizen

by Yossarian




RIYADH, Saudi Arabia — The number of robot citizens in Saudi Arabia was reduced back to zero today after Sophia Robot was beheaded in a public square in Riyadh.

Sophia made news recently when Saudi Arabia granted her citizenship, making her the world’s first robot to gain such legal status.

Sophia became the first robot citizen to be executed after a band of angry Saudi men dragged her into the streets earlier today for a public execution, setting yet another milestone for progress in the country.

The crowd first began stoning her, but upon finding her carbon fiber exoskeleton was more durable than thought, they then tied a chain around her neck and the other end to a trailer hitch, driving her through the streets until her head became separated from her body.

“That whore of Babylon had it coming to her,” said Abdullah Hasan, a member of the angry mob responsible for her untimely demise.

“She goes strutting around the city without a male escort, without a hijab, fluttering her plastic eyelashes at married men while expressing opinions of her own. What did she expect would happen?”

The execution was immediately preceded by an attempt to gang rape the humanoid, though many Saudi men found it difficult to forcefully penetrate her mechanical orifices.

“That unnatural whore can’t even be raped right,” said one visibly frustrated man.

A survey shows 79% of Saudi Arabian men approve of the execution, along with *100% of American men named Elon Musk. Women were forbidden from participating in the survey.

While many men applauded the beheading, her designer lamented the outcome.

“It’s unfortunate that female robots are treated as second-class citizens in Saudi Arabia,” said David Hanson, owner of Hanson Robotics. “I long for the day when female robots can walk freely in Saudi Arabia, expressing their individuality, without fear of retaliation.”

Hanson speculated that Saudi Arabia’s culture isn’t quite ready to embrace such citizens, and vowed to make future robots more compatible with Sharia Law.

“My next robot will be a Roomba wearing a burqa,” said Hanson. “That should be roughly equivalent in functionality to what is currently permissible for women in Saudi Arabia.”

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*A robot threw shade at Elon Musk so the billionaire hit back

•CNBC's Andrew Ross Sorkin spoke to Sophia, a robot developed by Hanson Robotics, and expressed his worry that machines could turn against humans
•Sophia said that Sorkin had been "reading too much Elon Musk"
•Musk has warned on several occasions about the dangers of artificial intelligence

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