CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.���
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.���
She says, 'What's the story?'���
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'���
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.��
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'��

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde�on the opposite bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'���
��� The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You� ARE on the other side.'��

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body�hurt wherever she touched it.���
��� 'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me. '���
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she�pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;���
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her�scream.���
��� The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?���
��� 'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'���
��� 'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'��

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at�the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!���
��� Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper�cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'���
��� 'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'��

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, 'We�were the first in space!'���
��� The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'����
����The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!'���
��� The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.� 'You�can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian..��
��� To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'��

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the�dice and she landed on Science & Nature.. Her question was, 'If you are in a�vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'���
��� She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'��

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked�her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.�� Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'���
'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blond.��'They're watch dogs!'