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Poll: Americans Hope Trump Follows Pence’s Example and Leaves Early

By Andy Borowitz

10:59 A.M.


Photograph by AP / REX / Shutterstock

INDIANAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—A poll taken after Vice-President Mike Pence made headlines on Sunday with an abrupt early departure reveals that a broad majority of Americans hope that Donald Trump follows Pence’s example and leaves early, as well.

In a striking result, the poll shows that Trump’s early exit would be approximately a thousand times more popular than the one Pence participated in on Sunday.

While Pence defended his decision to leave early on Sunday by saying that he did it out of patriotism, a substantial majority of Americans agreed that a premature departure by Trump “would be, by far, the most patriotic thing he could ever do for his country.”

And while the price tag of Pence’s departure on Sunday, estimated by some to be approximately a quarter of a million dollars, raised eyebrows across the country, poll respondents overwhelmingly said that they do not care how much Trump’s departure costs, as long as he leaves.

Finally, in one of the poll’s more negative findings, a broad majority of Indiana residents said that they were “angry and upset” that Pence did not leave early when he was governor of that state.

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