THE SALTY DOG
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar. The pirate has a peg leg, a hook and an eye patch. "How'd you end up with a peg leg?" asks the sailor. "I was swept overboard in a storm," says the pirate. "A shark bit off me whole leg."

"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about the hook?"

"We were boarding an enemy ship, battling the other sailors with swords. One of them cut me hand clean off."

"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "And the eye patch?"

"A seagull dropping fell in me eye," replied the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.

Said the pirate, "It was me first day with the hook."