Doctor: "are you an active marijuana user? "
Me: "not really, I usually just sit on the couch and play video games."

My rum-raisin cake is gluten free.
It's also raisin free...and cake free. OK it's just rum.

You aren't supposed to strip during Zumba.
Apparently…

If it ain't broke… I haven't borrowed it yet.

Not many UFOs spotted lately.
Wonder if the galaxy is downsizing their space programs too.

Never argue with a woman when she's tired...
or when she's rested.

I can't stand being in a wheelchair.