The formula for a happy marriage is the same as the one for living in California. When you find a fault, don't dwell on it.

Fred: "My wife's an angel."
Bob: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Smart husband: One who thinks twice
before saying nothing.

Why do men twist their wedding rings?
They're trying to figure out the combination.

My wife didn't want to marry me for my
money, but it was the only way she could get it.

Is your wife happy, or do you still live there?

Husbands are like fires:
they go out if left unattended