A man goes to his priest and tells him that his wife is trying to poison him. The priest says, "Now, John, how do you know that?" John says, "Well, I have terrible headaches. My stomach is upset. I have no stamina and my legs are weak. My vision is blurry and I have lost my appetite. A month ago I was in perfect health." The priest asks John if he has gone to the police. "Yes, I have, and they just laughed at me. Would you just talk to her and see if you can pick up on something that would make you think she's upset or mad at me?" The priest says, "Well, John, I'll try and see what I can do, but don't get your hopes up. Come back and see me tomorrow." The next day, John goes to the priest and asks if he found anything suspicious. The priest says, "I talked to your wife for FIVE hours on the phone yesterday, John. Take the poison."