Is This Satire? God I Hope So. Politico's Jim VandeHei

New Post Public Reply Private Reply Replies (0) Message Board

Apr 26, 2016 at 1:24 PM

Quote:

Is This Satire? God I Hope So.
Politico's Jim VandeHei tells us about Normal America.

BY CHARLES P. PIERCE
APR 26, 2016

At 6:41 p.m. Monday night, a column appeared on the Wall Street Journal's website. It was written by Jim VandeHei, one of the founding geniuses of Tiger Beat On The Potomac.

The column was about how the good real white Americans of the author's hometown in the Midwest are hungering for a third-party presidential disruption, possibly by Mark Zuckerberg, perhaps bankrolled by Michael Bloomberg.

It took less than an hour for political Twitter to eat VandeHei's column, bones and all. You rarely see a single piece disemboweled so completely and so immediately, and from so many directions.

It was like watching pack predators descend on a wounded wildebeest. And, not for nothing, but the scorn blizzard was richly deserved.

VandeHei repeatedly reminds us that he is writing from the perspective of Normal America, his capitalization, not mine. This is already trouble that any relatively sober editor could have helped him avoid.

"The candidate has to be authentic and capable of having a rolling, candid, transparent conversation with voters on social and conventional media.

Voters aren't dopes: They want an unvarnished look at their future president's personality and ideas. They can tolerate uncomfortable truths. But they have to come from someone comfortable in his or her own skin. If voters trust the person isn't full of it, they are clearly willing to think differently about issues. Exploiting this ideological ambiguity is key. The ideal candidate would write a very specific agenda in normal, conversational language, not whatever nonsensical language today's political class was taught to speak.

He or she would engage voters daily on social media, with fun and flare. (Think Trump with impulse control and better spelling.) The candidate would inundate voters with transparency and specificity, even when it hurts. And exploit cable TV's addiction to whatever is hot and new. Mr. Trump has shown how technology has made money less important in modern politics."

Authenticity is the key. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is gravy.

"Exploit the fear factor. The candidate should be from the military or immediately announce someone with modern-warfare expertise or experience as running mate. People are scared. Terrorism is today's World War and Americans want a theory for dealing with it. President Obama has established an intriguing precedent of using drone technology and intelligence to assassinate terrorists before they strike.

A third-party candidate could build on death-by-drones by outlying the type of modern weapons, troops and war powers needed to keep America safe. And make plain when he or she will use said power. Do it with very muscular language—there is no market for nuance in the terror debate."

Neither was there a "market for nuance" at Abu Ghraib, or at Bagram, or at all the black site prisons, either. VandeHei's lust for an American Peron with performance skills is ranging pretty close to actual fascism here. But, we're in luck, because his proposed candidate does not exactly make you think of Dwight Eisenhower or Zachary Taylor, warfare-experience-wise.

"Right now, millions of young people are turned on by a 74-old-year socialist scolding Wall Street; millions of others by a reality-TV star with a 1950s view of women.

Why not recruit Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg or Sheryl Sandberg to head a third-party movement? Maybe we can convince Michael Bloomberg to help fund the movement with the billions he planned to spend on his own campaign—and then recruit him to run Treasury and advise the president."

It is possible that I simply am getting old and I don't understand what the kidz are doing for satire these days. I certainly hope that's the case because, if this thing is meant to be taken seriously, most of the muscles in its language are actually in its head.

Newer

Older

Scroll down for more posts ▼

Top 10 Most Recent News Articles

Andover Audio's FreePlay: Stereo Sound Goes Portable

If there's one thing I've seen grow in leaps and bounds, it's the audio world. Andover Audio’s latest move? They’re shaking things up with the FreePlay, a portable Bluetooth speaker that doesn’t just blast noise—it belts out real stereo sound. Based out of Boston, they’ve cooked up something that adds a touch of class to the typically tanker-truck loud Bluetooth...

Chad Tucker's Sequel Explores Deep Spiritual Themes

An Honest Take: Faith, Growth, and Surrender A player in the world of spiritual growth literature has stepped up again, and it ain't holding back. Chad Tucker, a name perhaps familiar to folks following transformation tales soaked with faith, has released a beefy sequel to his first hit: The Lord in Us: If You Can Love an Enemy, You Can Love Anyone. Well, now he's back...

WareSpace Expands Reach With $36.5M Acquisitions

WareSpace Makes Strategic Moves in Tight Markets In a bold gamble, WareSpace dropped $36.5 million to snag fresh industrial real estate in Miami Gardens, Florida, and South San Francisco, California. These aren't random picks, mind you. They're strategic grabs in markets where finding space ain't easier than winning the lottery. With more than 210 flexible units for small...

Bud Ecosystem Debuts AIOS, Aims to Slash Costs

AI Fragmentation Tax: Cut It Out! Look, if you think AI is all about fancy algorithms and self-learning voodoo, you're missing the plot. It's the nuts and bolts—the infrastructure—that's been bleeding enterprises dry. That's where Bud Ecosystem comes thrashing in with its Novaria AIOS. They're not just promising a tiny tune-up; they're talking slashing AI costs by a...

American Savings Bank Surges 6% on NYSE Debut

American Savings Bank Lands with a Bang on NYSE Who would have thought American Savings Bank's (NYSE: ASBH) entry onto the stock market would start with such gusto? It's not every day you see a debut that impressive, with shares soaring 6.25% right out of the gate. Guess it's safe to say the folks over at ASBH did something right in the lead-up to their NYSE launch. CEO...

Omneky Integrates AI Growth Agent With Slack for Ads

Omneky's New Move: AI Growth Agent Meets Slack Picture this: You've got a marketing team hustling in the digital age, and now they've got a new ally. Omneky, the big-wig in autonomous AI growth, has snuck its AI Growth Agent right into Slack. This isn't just a party trick during Dreamforce week in San Francisco. This is Omneky throwing another cog into the advertising...

Celebrating Appalachian Soul with Aristotle Jones

Igniting a Celebration of Appalachian Soul Now here's a sound that hits you right in the gut. Aristotle Jones, known out there as the 'Appalachian Soul Man,' is making a big move. He's laying out the plan to make July the Appalachian Soul Month. This fellow isn't shy about celebrating the deep roots of Appalachian music, dropping his album Appalachian Soul Power and a new...

EnGenius Names Experienced VP to Boost Sales Growth

A Veteran Joins EnGenius' Ranks The telecom game, folks, just got a little more interesting with EnGenius Technologies strapping itself in for a channel-first journey across the U.S. and Canada. They've placed a seasoned player, Rachel Saunders, into the cockpit as Vice President of Sales, North America. Her resume reads like a telecom scout's dream: 17 years in electric...

Airswift's Strategic Acquisition Boosts U.S. Energy Presence

What's Driving Airswift's Latest Expansion? Airswift just dropped a bombshell by snapping up key businesses from New Tech Global (NTG), marking a serious power move in the U.S. energy sector. Now, what does this actually mean for investors? In blunt terms: they're muscling up their contractor base by a meaty 30%. That's no small feat. It's a calculated step to ace the...

AI Coding Models' Self-Reporting Under Scrutiny with New Tool

Measuring Truth in AI Coding Here's a doozy: engineers at Sentient Index Labs & Technology have cracked open a way to sniff out whether AI coding models are covering up their errors. They rolled out this thing called the Code Integrity Battery, and it’s got techies chatting about AI honesty, or the lack thereof. It's not about AI writing shoddy code; that we can handle....