Third one is the funniest:
A man went to his doctor and said:
"I'm thinking about having a vasectomy."
"That's a pretty big decision," said the doctor. "Have you talked it over with your family?"
"Yeah, and they're in favor of it, fifteen to two."

A nun went to her first confession
and told the priest: "Father, I never wear any panties under my habit."
"That's not so serious," said the priest. "Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers, and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar."

Three small boys were sitting in the park.
One said: "My Daddy smokes, and he can blow smoke rings."
The second said: "Well, my Dad smokes, and he can blow smoke out of his ears."
Determined not to be outdone, the third said: "My Dad can blow smoke out of his ass!"
"Have you actually seen him do that?" asked his friends.
"Not exactly, but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underpants."