Republican Bigwigs Are Panicking About the Trumpenstein Monster
Bury him in tax returns! Burn him with Robot Rubio's laser eyes!
Bury him in tax returns! Burn him with Robot Rubio's laser eyes!
Quote:BY CHARLES P. PIERCE
FEB 25, 2016
Let the floundering begin!
Watching respectable conservatives deal with the ever-increasing likelihood that He, Trump will be standing there in Cleveland next summer, balloons dropping on his pelted pate, has become an almost daily festival of fun.
Today, we begin with our old pal, G.I. Luvmoney, the 2012 Republican presidential candidate, who is cautioning the Republicans that there be dragons in Trump's spreadsheets. Watch out, America! Mitt is talking politics again.
"Frankly, I think we have a good reason to believe that there's a bombshell in Donald Trump's taxes," Romney said in an interview on Fox News. "I think there's something there. Either he's not anywhere near as wealthy as he says he is or he hasn't been paying the kind of taxes we would expect him to pay, or perhaps he hasn't been giving money to the vets or to the disabled like he's been telling us he's doing," he added.
Here, with an opposing view, is the vulgar talking yam in question.
Dope!
QED, loser!
Meanwhile, up here in the Commonwealth (God save it!), Charlie Baker—our Republican governor, who originally endorsed the departed Chris Christie—is not endorsing anyone else at the moment. This is a smart move, actually. The situation has drawn the notice of career U.S. Senator reenactor Scott Brown.
McDreamy is all in on the Trump thing, but he and his ass clearly are still not over the whipping they took from Senator Professor Warren back in 2012.
While a steady drumbeat for Baker to weigh in on the race continues, Brown took issue with the silence of the state's highest-profile individual on the other side of the aisle: Elizabeth Warren. "If it was me, you guys wouldn't let me get away with that. I think it's unbelievable that you and the media allow her not to take a stand," Brown said.
"It's such a double standard." That's one of the reasons why Donald Trump is doing so well," he added. "The media treatment of him and me and others, it's unbelievable."
Isn't he from New Hampshire now? I'm confused.
Over at Tiger Beat On The Potomac, they're counting on obvious anagram Reince Priebus to crack the whip.
Dangling access to these resources, Priebus thinks he can help steer Trump toward partywide policy goals and away from the inflammatory rhetoric that Republican officials see as divisive and dangerous, especially outside of the primary, according to two Republican sources who have spoken with the RNC chairman.
"It's a relationship," said RNC chief strategist and communications director Sean Spicer. "Every nominee—it doesn't matter this cycle or last cycle—understands now that the role of parties is critical in terms of the manpower, the data, the press operation, the research. The bottom line is no nominee can win without the party."
Stop. No, seriously. You're killing me.
And then there's His Eminence, Ross Cardinal Douthat, New York Times columnist and Cardinal Archbishop of Dorkylvania, who has spent some time in deep and prayerful mediation and emerged with the revelation that conservatism is very, very fcked indeed. No, really. The Lord told him that. "Ross," the Lord said, "I have sent thee a vulgar talking yam to bring down upon thee my scorn and the sarcasm of my heavenly host and, yea, I say unto thee, truly fcked art thou and thy descendants unto the Florida primary."
Candidates with a near-zero chance at the nomination, from Ben Carson to Gov. John Kasich of Ohio, are still carving up the electorate in ways that clear Trump's path.
And the man who now, finally, has the support of the institutional party, the very talented and frequently eloquent junior senator from Florida, has decided that Trump is still better mostly ignored than actively opposed.
I think it's fair to point out that Young Marco's alleged political "talent" is very much in doubt at this point, and I think Douthat misspelled "repetitive" in the second part of that description.
If Rubio realizes that this endgame looms, you could argue that his "hold, hold, hold …" strategy is actually far cockier than his shrinking-violet approach this week suggests.
It depends, in the end, on his ability to dispatch Trump in a narrow window of time, amid a media frenzy, on a stage that's favored Trump all campaign long. But does he realize it? Is he prepared for what he'll have to do, and what Trump will do to him? At the end of this strangest of primary seasons, everything may depend on the answer.
Yeah, they're well and truly fcked.
Play on, folks, please. And, remember, please realize that anybody who writes like this…
"If not us, who?" Ronald Reagan asked in the heat of the 1981 budget battle. "If not now, when?" Time to go nuclear, chaps.
…is going to end up struggling to get out of his locker after the Trumpsters get through with him.
Chaps? Really? Yeah, that'll work.
Pip, pip and tallyho.
Losers.
