I was in the “Texas Rose” tavern last night, at the bar waiting for a beer, when a big, butt-ugly heifer came up behind me and slapped me on the butt.

She said, “Hey sexy, I dig old guys — how about giving me your number.”

I looked at her and said, ”Have you got a pen?”

She said, “I sure do”.

I said, “Well, you better get back into it before the farmer notices you’re missing.”

My dental surgery is on Monday