Quote of the day:
"Girls who use their heads can stop the population explosion." anon.

In America, ship names start with USS, for United States Ship.
In Britain, ship names start with HMS, for His / Her Majesty's Ship.
In Italy, ship names start with AMB, for Atsa Ma Boat.

Nothing ruins a game of hide and seek like…
when the cops let the K9 off the leash.

Pick a card....any card.
- Impatient Hallmark employee.

Sorry about the concussion…
but it wouldn't be called a "trust fall" if it worked every time.

Whenever you're having a bad day... think of the poor guy who has to put the circus tent back in its bag.

What to we want? An end to auto-correct errors!
When do we want it? Cow!!!

"Impatient" means she's restlessly eager.
"In-patient" means she lives in a mental hospital...I learned that one the hard way.

I’m so confused…
according to the stores I should be in a Halloween costume, sitting under a Christmas tree eating a turkey.

I keep getting bills from the “Memory Erasing Clinic”...but I've never been there.

As a man I honor Columbus every day…
by not asking for directions.