Investors Hangout Stock Message Boards Logo
  • Home
  • Mailbox
  • Boards
  • Favorites
  • Whats Hot!
  • Login - Join Now!
Big Tuna's Daily Laugh
Posted On: 10/07/2015 6:34:42 PM
Post# of 5246
Avatar
Posted By: getmoreshares
I just turned my laptop on
I think it's the way I stroke the keys.

I get meat by the pound.
I mean, c'mon, they're getting rid of the strays anyway.

Whenever I watch a movie about bands performing I'm shocked at all of the sax and violins.

I just discovered the secret to eternal life.
In a thousand years, I'll probably just tell everyone what
it is.

I'm trying to lose weight using a treadmill, but I just feel like I'm going nowhere

I wanted to play pro football But I realized:
I'm 100 pounds too light, 5 inches too short...
and 100 IQ points too much.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death. But then, I'm in no hurry.

I think it's time to clean the fridge. Something just closed the door from the inside.

I'm still playing with a full deck.
I just shuffle slower these days.

The Internet: all of the piracy, with none of the scurvy.

Halloween is by far the safest day to kill a person and leave them in a chair on your front porch.

Sure, the lion is king of the jungle, but airdrop him into Antarctica and he's just a penguin's bitch.

At my mother-in-law's funeral my wife whispered in my ear, "I'm gonna get you for this."
I don't know what she was so angry about. Maybe it was because I was not sharing my popcorn.

(0)
(0)









  • New Post - Investors HangoutNew Post

  • Public Reply - Investors HangoutPublic Reply

  • Private Reply - Investors HangoutPrivate Reply

  • Board - Investors HangoutBoard

  • More - Investors HangoutMore

  • Keep Post - Investors HangoutKeep Post
  • Report Post - Investors HangoutReport Post
  • Home - Investors HangoutHome
  • Mailbox - Investors HangoutMailbox
  • Boards - Investors HangoutBoards
  • Favorites - Investors HangoutFavorites
  • Whats Hot! - Investors HangoutWhats Hot!
  • Settings - Investors HangoutSettings
  • Login - Investors HangoutLogin
  • Live Site - Investors HangoutLive Site