Dave was staring sadly into his pint and sighed heavily. 
"What's up Dave" asked the Landlord... 
"It's not like you to be so down in the mouth" 
"It's my four year old son..." the man replied. 
"Don't tell me, he's in trouble for fighting 
in school? - my lad's just the same - forget 
about it, it happens to boys that age" said 
the landlord, sympathetically. " I only wish 
it was that" continued the customer, " but it's 
far worse than that. The little bastard has got 
our gorgeous 18 year old next door neighbour pregnant." 
"Get away, that's impossible!" gasped the landlord 
"It's not" said the man... 
"the little shit stuck a pin in all my condoms.