I wish all my electronics
came with as much memory as my wife.

According to my neighbors
diary, I have "boundary" issues.

I ordered a wake-up call
the other day. The phone rang and a woman's voice said, "What the hell are you doing with your life?"

Beware when taking a
magicians exam: The test is loaded with trick questions.

More than anything else,
doughnuts have contributed to my personal growth.

One spelling mistake can destroy your life. Husband's message to his wife: "Having a wonderful time, wish you were her."

My wife and I just had a falling out. I knew we shouldn't have moved into that tree house.