My wife calls me a
"five times a night" man. I've always had a weak bladder.

I thought my arson addiction
was keeping me from meeting women, then I discovered Match.com.

I just got fired from my job
at the Psychic Hotline. Didn't see that coming.

I asked this girl if she was Jewish. She said, "Why do you ask?". I said, "because you Israeli hot."

The doctor told me that I suffer from compulsive lying syndrome, so I committed suicide yesterday